Movie Viewer's Dissect - Script 3
Intro- Welcome to Movie Viewer's Dissect where we show you mens and womens views of the movies you love and hate!
Host- Welcome to the show. This is our Mens vs. Womens segment of the the show where we get to find out how a movie looks behind different eyes. Here are the extensions of my personalities that will help you understand a “Mans” view and a “Womans” view.
Host- Today we will be
reviewing the movie The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.
Host- We are gentlemen on this show so ladies first.
Womans- This movie was awful and by awful we mean bad, really bad. There were undead guys with pieces of there bodies falling off and harry yetis? Why did they have to change the actress for Evelyn O'Connell's character? The Mummy just doesn't seem the same without Rachel Weisz. At least Luke Ford was in the movie for eye candy! He's so cute, so cute even though his acting was atrocious. Brendan Fraser is still looking sexy as ever! It's just to bad that him and the new "Evelyn O'connell" actress didn't have the same chemisty on sceen as him and Rachel did in the previous Mummy movies. Most of the jokes were pretty bad. I mean come on! A yeti kicking a guy over arch and another yeti puts his hands up for a field goal...sigh(disapointed) We almost want our money back.
Host- Thank you Womans and what are the Mans' thoughts?
Mens- Where in the world is Rachel Weisz? We went to this movie to see Rachel Weisz and she was replaced by Maria Belo? What the (Beep)? The action was ok in this movie, but we just feel like it was lacking something original. All the jokes were hit and miss. Luckily there was a Yack in the movie! Nothing's more funny than a plane going straight down a mountain and a Yack "Yacking" all over Johnathan, Evelyn's brother... Yeah, we didn't think so either. We think the writers were on some sort of illigal substance when they wrote this movie. We mean this line alone proves it. "I would have died, if the Yetis hadn't have found me"... We want our money back too!
Host- Well it seem like my personalities agree on something today. (smiles)
Segment Intro- Now we move on to our "Dirty Movie Jobs" segment were I will be interviewing a very important individual that made "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor." happen.
Host- Hi! You're the writer for "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor." ?! Tell me, how did you write such a horrible script?
Interviewee- Uhhhhhhhh, are you a dude or a chick.
Host- Oh! I'm glad you asked! I'm actually both.
Interviewee- Ok? If we were at a bar and I bought you a shot would you take it?
Host- I don't drink, so no...
Interviewee- If I asked you to come back to my room wou... (host interrupts)
Host- Well that's all for today! Thank you for joining us on Movie Viewer's Dissect!
Outro music....
Movie Viewer's Dissect - Revised Script
Intro- Welcome to Movie Viewer's Dissect where we show you mens and womens views of the movies you love and hate!
Host- Welcome to the show. This is our Mens vs. Womens segment of the the show where we get to find out how a movie looks behind different eyes. Here are the extensions of my personalities that will help you understand a “Mans” view and a “Womans” view.
Host- Today we will be
reviewing the movie The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2.
Womans- Oh I loved this one!
Host- I know wasn't it great! (COUGH) We are gentlemen on this show so ladies first.
Womans- O.M.G. this movie was amazing! Tibby, Lena, Carmen and Bridget come back with amazing stories. Carmen's story was our favorite though! We wish a man would push us to accomplish goals that we never thought we could accomplish. Ian is sooooo cute AND he's British! Sometimes we wish we lived in England. So yeah, Ian is soo cute and helps Carmen get a major roll in the play. Lena's story is so amazing too! She meets a hunk of a man in her art class, and the first time she meets him he gets naked in front of her! O.M.G. he has an amazing body! But, this hunk of a man helps her to remember who she truly loves, the sexy Greek Costos. (sigh) It was sweet how Bridget got re-united with her grandmother and how she realized how much her father truly loved her mother. Tibby's story scared the crap out of us though! She could have gotten pregnant! At least she found out she wasn't, but whoooh that's just to much of a scare for us womans. This movie was just so amazing. We have no other words.
Host- Thank you Womans and what are the Mans' thoughts?
Mens- (Mens pretend to sleep)
Womans- Ugh! Stop it!
Mens- Oh we're sorry! We must have fallen asleep during 2 HOUR LONG MOVIE! We don't even know what to say. The hottest girl in movie was crying the whole time! And the other one had a naked man around her the entire movie. Mans DO NOT under any circumstances let your woman friend drag you to this movie! It would be better to break up with her...yeah.
Host- Well it seem like I have some conflicting personalities today. (smiles)
Segment Intro- Now we move on to our "Dirty Movie Jobs" segment were I will be interviewing a very important individual that "made" The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" happen.
Host- Hi! You're the love maker on The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" ?! Tell me, how do you make love?
Interviewee- Uhhhhhhhh, are you a guy or a girl.
Host- Oh! I'm glad you asked! I'm actually both.
Interviewee- Soooo, if you went to a wedding would you sit on the brides or the grooms side?
Host- Well that really depends on if I know the bride or the groom...
Interviewee- Let's say it's your wedding. Would you be the brid... (host interrupts)
Host- Well that's all for today! Thank you for joining us on Movie Viewer's Dissect!
Outro music....
Movie Viewer's Dissect - Revised Script
Intro- Welcome to Movie Viewer's Dissect where we show you mens and womens views of the movies you love and hate!
Host- Welcome to the show. This is our Mens vs. Womens segment of the the show where we get to find out how a movie looks behind different eyes. Here are the extensions of my personalities that will help you understand a “Mans” view and a “Womans” view.
Host- Today we will be reviewing the movie Hellboy 2. I have a strong feeling the Womans loved this one. (chuckles) We are gentlemen on this show so ladies first.
Womans- We would like to go on record and say that we did not love this movie or even like this movie. We'll just run down a quick list. Ugly monsters, Bad love story, and did I say Ugly Monsters. The little love story in the movie might have been cute if the ugly monsters weren't the main characters in the movie. Other than that, we can do without the big guns, more ugly monsters and big explosions. This was a “Mans” movie and it was almost hard to watch for us Womans.
Host- Thank you Womans and what are the Mans' thoughts?
Male- I have to agree with the Womans on the love story part of the movie. It was lame and unneeded in our opinion. But when it comes action in this movie I think it was pretty spot on. Hellboy takes down a monster like 15 times the size of him and he does it while holding onto a baby. Is that not kick ass? The monsters were crazy! Hellboy just cleans up on all the bad guys. The new character that was introduced, the "German Gas Bag" was great. He had me cracking up in my seat. The “Womans” were all wrong, this movie rocked.
Host- Well it seem like I have some conflicting personalities today. (smiles)
Segment Intro- Now we move on to our "Dirty Movie Jobs" segment were I will be interviewing a very important individual that "made" Hellboy 2 happen.
Host- Hi! You're the "GOO" guy on Hellboy 2?! Tell me about "GOO"!
Interviewee- Uhhhhhhhh, are you a guy or a girl.
Host- Oh! I'm glad you asked! I'm actually both.
Interviewee- Soooo, do you go to the boys restroom or the girls?
Host- Do I go to the "Mans" or "Womans" room? Well, it really all depends ...
Interviewee- Do you pee standin... (host interrupts)
Host- Well that's all for today! Thank you for joining us on Movie Viewer's Dissect!
Outro music....
Episode 1: Hell Boy 2
Episode 2: The Sisterhood of the Travailing Pants 2
Episode 3: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Episode 4: TBD
-We will be shooting on all the upcoming Sundays 12-5pm
-Our actor for the host will be George Lenard. He has prior experience with being a cross dresser.
-George and I will be going shopping for costumes this Wednesday.
-We will also be finding props Wednesday as well.
-We are working on getting a few more actors.
-Friday we will work on putting the Host's outfit together.
Our host is officially going to be a split personality. A half and half person if you will. One side will be man one side will be women. For example....
Also we determined that there will be a mans panel of reviewers (2 to 3) and a womans panel of reviewers (2 to 3). Set design to still be determined.
Movie Viewer's Dissect - Script
Intro- Welcome to Movie Viewer's Dissect where we show you how the opposite sex views the movies you love and hate!
Host- Welcome to the show guys. This is our Boys vs. Girls segment of the the show where we get to find out how a movie looks behind different eyes. Here are our commentators on opposite sides of the sexual line. (MALE COMMENTATOR'S NAME) is our boy's point of view, and (FEMALE COMMENTATOR'S NAME) is obviously our girls point of view.
Host- Today we will be reviewing the movie Hellboy 2. I have a strong feeling the girls loved this one. (chuckles) We are gentlemen on this show so ladies first.
Female- Thank you (HOST'S NAME), I would like to go on record and say that I did not love this movie or even like this movie, and I think every girl can agree with me on this. I'll just run down a quick list. Ugly monsters, Bad love story, and did I say Ugly Monsters. The little love story in the movie might have been cute if the ugly monsters weren't the main characters in the movie. Other than that, I can do without the big guns, more ugly monsters and big explosions. I give this a Girls Rating of 3 out of 10. The only reason I'm giving 3 is because they at least attempted a love story in that ugly mess.
Host- Thank you (FEMALE COMMENTATOR'S NAME) and what are the boy's thoughts (MALE COMMENTATOR'S NAME)?
Male- I have to agree with (FEMALE COMMENTATOR'S NAME) on the love story part of the movie. It was lame and unneeded in my opinion. But when it comes action in this movie I think it was pretty spot on. Hellboy takes down a monster like 15 times the size of him and he does it while holding onto a baby. Is that not kick ass? The monsters were crazy! Hellboy just cleans up on all the bad guys. The new character that was introduced, the "German Gas Bag" was great. He had me cracking up in my seat. I have to give this movie a Boys Rating of 7 out of 10.
Host- Well there you have it the girls rated this movie and 3 out of 10 and the boys a 7 out of 10 with an average boy/girl score of a 5 out of 10. Now on to our Dirty Movie Jobs segment!
Segment Intro- We're going to take you behind the scenes of Hellboy 2 so that you can meet a very important individual that made this movie work!
Interviewee- Hey, my name is Joe and I would like to tell you about my job on Hellboy 2! Yes, my role was very important in the making of Hellboy 2. Well, I was the Goo Guy. Yeah, every once of "ewwwy gooey" stuff in that movie (points at self)(smiles). You see I have a special technique in the spraying of the Goo. I do this back and forth motion like this (pretends to hold a hose) but after a second or two I flip it out like this (makes throwing motion). You see when I do that it make the Goo look more natural. You know, Goo doesn't always just ooze out, sometimes it spurts out and I have to make it look realistic. Yep, Hellboy 2 wouldn't have even made any money if it weren't for my Goo expertise. Oh yeah, if you're looking for a Goo guy for your next awesome movie please call 555-... (Gets cut off)
Host- Well that's all for today! Thank you for joining us on Movie Viewer's Dissect!
Outro music....
